Lessons of Hospitality
When I first came to Afghanistan, like many people in the West, I thought I was quite good at hospitality. With my husband, I had lived in various communities. Previously, we had been used to local young people joining us for dinner at short notice, had given quite a few dinner parties and even lived for one year in a house with many others sharing most meals.
Now having lived in rural Afghanistan for over 10 years, I realize that Afghans ideas about hospitality go far beyond anything I have ever experienced in my own country. When our car turned over in a flooded river, I and some local friends went to a nearby village house, knowing no one. They calmly received us, gave us their spare clothes, killed and cooked one of their few chickens for us, lit a fire for us with precious fuel and told us that they would defend us from anyone seeking to harm us. They did all of this for strangers, saying that this was what anyone would do to help. I have countless other examples of hosts going far beyond what I was expecting for an outsider. In fact, I write this after a lovely 4-hour lunch shared with local friends, I will not need to eat an evening meal!
What have I learned?
In hosting, I have learned to cook very large quantities of food as it is important to be generous and food left over can be sent to
As a guest, I have learned to enjoy leisurely hospitality, eating a little more than I really need and then sitting for hours telling and listening to stories. I have learned that lunch can be as late as 4 pm and wedding feasts can be served at 11 pm, not at 6 pm as the invite suggested. From messy experience, I learned that I am better eating rice with a spoon than my hand, unlike my children.
Certainly, after living in Afghanistan, I have different picture in my head of what I think feasts in heaven are going to be like.